I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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