Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
