i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
