The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He shit in the fireplace
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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