she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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