The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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