I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
