This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
