I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
