Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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