I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
