So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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