google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
