is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
