Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
