do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
