I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
