i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Randomize
