90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
