i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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