my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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