i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need water and some morals
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
