I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
