i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
