Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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