It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
