I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
