I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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