well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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