you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
