i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
