I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She said her name was "party"
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
