I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
