It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
