Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
