The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
