just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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