Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
what day is it and did you see me today?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
