idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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