This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
