The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this boner is exhausting
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
