I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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