Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
