hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
