She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
