The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
