roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
