I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
