He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
