no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
