You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
