hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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