She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
