There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
